Everyone is wicked busy or pretending to be. I cannot count the number of times I have had someone ask to meet me and waited to respond because making time to sort through the calendar to come up with an appropriate time is time consuming. To make matters worse, almost nobody uses open calendars like the failed (haha, you sucked!) Tungle.Me.
Meeting requests come in many different levels of severity and passive aggressiveness. I often wonder how badly someone wants to meet based on how they ask. I usually assume when someone is really vague about their request it’s that they are thinking of me but also need to schedule like a zillion other meetings at the same time.
It usually goes down something like this. Assume each line is a new email or text message.
The Dead End
“Yo, we should get together for coffee sometime.”
“Sounds good!”
…
The Trail Off
“Hey! Want to get together sometime?”
“Thanks for reaching out! I do!”
“When is good for you?”
“This week is bad. How about next week?”
“Cool!”
The OMG Beat Into Submission
“Hey! We should grab coffee!”
“Sounds good”
“Do you have a good time?”
“I don’t have any time in the next two weeks.”
“Oh, how about in 3 weeks?”
“That works. What day is good for you?”
“Whatever day you like. I’m flexible.”
"Ok, Wednesday?"
"I can't do Wednesday. Thursday?"
"When on Thursday?"
"How about 9:30AM?"
"Great! Where do you want to go?"
"Let's go to Jane."
"Where is Jane?"
None of these say "my time is really valuable and so is yours!" Here's how to get the meeting. If you combine the next three tactics in your first email or text, the chances of you actually meeting someone increase exponentially.
State the purpose
Start by saying why you want to meet. Do not presume that the person is going to meet you, make sure it’s a request.
“Hey, it’s been a long time since we got together and I miss you!”
“Hi! We talked about going to lunch and I think it’s time!”
“Hey, I would love to get together to discuss content strategy for my company.”
Be specific about place and time
For me, the effectiveness of “Sometime” is about 1%. It isn’t that I do not want to meet with you, it’s mostly that I wonder how badly you want to meet. It feels so much better when someone suggests the place and time and provides the address.
“How is Tuesday? I can do 1:00-2 or 2-3 at Jane! Have you had their oatmeal situation? It’s unique!”
Ask the person to respond in kind
If none of these times and places work for you, could you suggest a good time?
When they respond favorably, send the meeting request!
Putting all of these together in your first email will greatly increase your chance of having awesome coffee and snacks with anyone! Oh and read my friend Karen Rubin’s thoughts on how to be a superhero scheduler!
